Are You An Encourager Or Discourager?

You tend to spend a great deal of time pointing out others mistakes. You feel justified in showing your ability to observe and spot where the problem is. The downcast expression when you approach someone confuses you. Why should they feel that way when you are helping correct their performance?

Ah, there may be the answer. Was any correction offered, or just the critique? It’s easy to see the splinter in anothers eye, completely ignoring the log in my own. Wise words and true. This I must address to myself and no other, for I find myself both accused and guilty.

How easy is it to see anothers mistake? I have no idea what the percentages are, but I’d say it’s even more difficult to see my own. I’m making this personal because it is one of those “blind sports” for me. We all have them but yours is something you have to see for yourself.

There are legions of people all too ready to let me know when I screw up. I suppose it feels justifiable to me to return the favor. It’s entirely likely that my efforts are geared to do them one better. Why is that?

Ego. Lack of self esteem. The constant need to prove self worth and value. This in a world and cultural environment where so many that surround you are addicted to negative input. Most are unwilling or unable to see the good and positive, because it’s not popular, doesn’t get any attention, and the negative is easier to find.

For me most often it is a conversation starter until I catch myself doing it. I would be the first to condemn such actions. That of constantly focusing on the negative, yet I am not without fault. Ordinarily I would present myself as a positive person, because that’s the way I want to be seen.

However the truth is a different matter, as far as how others see me, who know me best. Those who meet me for the first time are generally moved to think I am that positive, energetic, take action person. Two of the three would be on the money. It’s that one that tends to work against me, and the one I work on the least.

Outside of the home front, I tend to be more on guard against wallowing in that negative mindset, and am the first to speak up against any conversation headed in that direction. That is of course unless it’s on a topic I feel strongly about, and then it seems all bets are off along with the “kid gloves!”

Recently I have been involved in a writing clinic of sorts, with the focus on encouraging writers both old and new to develop a daily writing habit. In the process many post their challenges, obstacles, mind blocks and the like on this Face Book site.

What I love are the numbers of other writers that offer encouragement, as it rubs off on me, prompting me to do likewise. The more positive comments received from those who feel encouraged is like an elixir. It simply creates that desire to do more. The challenge for me will be to figure out how to get more of that elixir! The answer really is simple. What goes around comes around! The more I encourage the more I will be encouraged. Out of that can develop a habit.

Have I learned a lesson here? Time is the ultimate judge of that. As long as desire results in determination to change, eventually that becomes a habit. It is no longer a conscious effort. Let it be so in me. The encouraging factor is I have seen that part of me and accept it as true. Equally strong is the intent to change. In the end, action speaks louder than anything else. I want my actions to ROAR! Want to roar with me?


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Alan Written by:

Alan is retired and resides in Quito, Ecuador. Writing is a passion which has resulted in two eBooks thus far, with more in the works. Married 47 years with four sons and 13 grandchildren, provides potential grist for the mill! Alan is a charter "Boomer", a Viet Nam veteran, committed to roasting his own coffee and writes about whatever pops into his mind. He loves to build and ride recumbent bikes, play racquetball, writes almost daily, travels Ecuador, and talks to anything that does not move fast enough! The twinkle in his eye is a combination of the sun, and an active sense of humor. His desire to encourage others to write is being answered through his articles on the Internet.