At the very least that title should have gotten your attention. Thoughts perhaps of, “Who the heck does he think he is saying that?” I can only imagine some more colorful thoughts laced with stronger words.
Recently in response to a writing challenge I find myself really doing what I have needed for decades. Consistent writing on an everyday basis. That challenge was over a month ago so it may be safe to say a habit has been formed, and quite honestly I have no desire to break the momentum.
A couple of my posts have been made about writing that sort of touched on why I write. Still as I sat gazing out my window at the clouds, thoughts began to enter that were a little more profound and not at all superficial, as I suspect the posts I made may have been.
While it’s true that I have been writing, or maybe better said journaling, for years, there was never a thought as to the why of it. Recording thoughts about events in life, creating a poem, building pages for my websites, being amazed at the depth afterwards discovered still amazes me. Fascination may be an even more descriptive word when rereading something written several years ago, or just months.
I have had to ask my wife on occasion, “Did I really write this?” On many of those moments she could indeed confirm. Yet I am left with, “Wow, I really did that?” Chances are it only amazes me and my wife. That seems confirmed by two eBooks I have out there that have not exactly caught fire with the reading public. Many explanations, not the least of which is promotion, could be the greatest reason.
Will that keep me from writing? Not a chance! Persistence not aimed at public acceptance in the first place has much to do with that. There are hundreds of files on my hard drive that have never see publication. It’s likely most never will.
The question at the beginning has not been ignored, rather I felt a little background might ease into that thinking.
Writing is a way of talking to myself silently, that examines those thoughts constantly emerging from my mind. Not common thoughts such as movie reviews or grocery lists. Deeper and abstract at times, which makes it impossible to create meaningful conversations with most.
One of my favorite games is to catch a thought at any point, and trace it back to it’s origin. While at first there seems to be no connection, excitement is finding there always is. The progression puts me in mind of the synaptic transmission connection shown in various explanations through video or animation of how the brain works.
Not many are ready for discussions that could center around such topics. More superficial musings tend to be prevalent, centered around sports scores, fantasy football, the latest video game, soap opera or movie. To me, very little brain power is required discussing such. Not an ego trip there, it just is what it is.
Thoughts have power, the harnessing of which is no easy feat. There’s a good bet that right now you may be thinking I have entered into some sort of fantasy. Scientific studies will prove me out with nothing more evident than the “Placebo Effect.”
Thoughts centered around a belief that something has taken place so strong, that even surgical procedures have shown to be slightly less effective over time than when there were none. A phenomena that has yet to be fully understood, for which the medical profession would prefer to ignore! Imagine people thinking themselves well, without a doctor. They would probably get burned at the stake!
The power of thought has shown it’s effect in my life over the years, so it is no mystery to me that it is real. Indulging in my thoughts then would seem to be somewhat understood if not acceptable or comprehended by others. There are those who may choose to label this as “crazy,” or even something as drastic as “schizophrenia.” Well, as stated in the title, what I think about to write is none of your business. Who really cares about what I think? Desiring to read it is a different story.
So there’s the challenge. Reading thoughts put to words not motivated by what the public wants to read. Rather ideas, musings, random wandering through the quagmire the mind can be, completely original offerings with more than just an intent to put things on a page. You get the chance to see deep inside, if you dare. I don’t know, but that sort of transparency could be scary for some, or many.
I’m gonna go watch some more clouds.